C.E. Oh, who the F*** are you?

The Wizards Behind the Curtain

Beware of those pulling the strings in our schools – these multi-academy trust CEOs, seemingly elusive until they need something, embody a leadership vacuum that cripples morale and suppresses progress. But much like the Wizard of Oz presents himself as an awe-inspiring figure, CEOs similarly rely on trickery and deception to maintain authority. This serves as a useful guide for this gripe and a powerful metaphor for the importance of seeing through illusions and recognising the true nature of those in positions of power.

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Marking Madness

Breaking the Bullshit Cycle of Overwhelming Workloads

It’s the bullshit that every teacher faces: the overwhelming burden of marking papers, a thankless task that consumes time, energy, and sanity. However, the intolerable excess of this workload exacts a not-so-subtle toll on teachers’ well-being and most worryingly, is perpetuated by those tasked with leading by example.

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Weaponised Ignorance

Blindness and/or Bullshit

Behind the curtain, school leadership apparently wields wizard-like power, but their decisions more often resemble a game of drunken pin the tail on the donkey—aiming for ass but hitting fuck knows what. From ignoring critical issues like misogyny, harassment and toxic behaviours to treating valuable expertise like unwanted leftovers, the fallout is ionising. Don your hazmat suit as we wade through the toxic swamp of leadership ignorance that’s contaminating schools.

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An excess of exit passes

Navigating the Passpocalypse

A seemingly benign practice has evolved into an issue that’s impacting education far more than perhaps we realise, and as a teacher, it is definitely grating on me. Here is a typical scenario: a student raises their hand, brandishing a brightly coloured, laminated pass like it’s a VIP ticket to meet Taylor Swift backstage, and proceeds to step out of class. Seems harmless, right? Wrong. It’s become a significant issue: the overabundance of time-out passes is threatening to derail learning and I can’t shake it off. But before I go absolutely postal, it’s crucial to acknowledge that I fully support the use of these passes for genuine reasons and to those kids, I’ve got your backs. However, I can’t help but feel that they’re sometimes distributed to students who may not need them as much as others.

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Branding vs. Substance

How Branding Eclipses Educational Integrity

The cry of ‘Just do it’ echoes from SLT as they fuel a frustrating trend, but are schools prioritising branding over substance? Schools, especially academies, are eager to establish a unique identity, often relying on shit slogans and bullshit-branded policies, and insisting on brand recognition. But news flash: brand recognition is earned, not imposed. And, beneath the surface lies a significant problem—a gap between branding efforts and the actual educational value they claim to offer.

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You can’t spell ‘gaslight’ without S-L-T

The title is an unfortunate coincidence but not a day goes by without bumping into a colleague who has been ‘gaslit’ by SLT. This could manifest as a sanction downgraded by a member of gaslighters, who wasn’t a witness to the event. Or upon interviewing a future HM Belmarsh inhabitant about a classroom incident, SLT will suggest that:

“when he told you to go fuck yourself, I think he was actually saying to ‘go look at yourself’, you misheard”?

Some member of SLT

The only thing lacking here is a Jedi-style, wave of the hand.

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