Confronting Toxic Mindsets and the Dismissal Epidemic
It’s a dilemma that’s as insidious as it is ubiquitous, as destructive as it is dismissive. It’s a dilemma born from the lips of our own colleagues, echoing within each department and reverberating through the corridors of our schools with the unsettling frequency of the Silent Hill radio static. This dilemma, my friends, is the casual dismissal of complex issues through language rife with logical fallacies.
The Wizards Behind the Curtain
Beware of those pulling the strings in our schools – these multi-academy trust CEOs, seemingly elusive until they need something, embody a leadership vacuum that cripples morale and suppresses progress. But much like the Wizard of Oz presents himself as an awe-inspiring figure, CEOs similarly rely on trickery and deception to maintain authority. This serves as a useful guide for this gripe and a powerful metaphor for the importance of seeing through illusions and recognising the true nature of those in positions of power.
Breaking the Bullshit Cycle of Overwhelming Workloads
It’s the bullshit that every teacher faces: the overwhelming burden of marking papers, a thankless task that consumes time, energy, and sanity. However, the intolerable excess of this workload exacts a not-so-subtle toll on teachers’ well-being and most worryingly, is perpetuated by those tasked with leading by example.
Turning Water into Wine
At this time of year, teachers often find themselves in a modern-day parable akin to Jesus with his baguette and tin of Aldi sardines. Just as Jesus performed a miracle to feed the masses, teachers are expected to perform similarly, magically elevating students’ grades to meet the student’s target. Yet, behind this show of divine intervention lies the devil: the guilt-laden question that pursues teachers – “What can we do to get their grade up?” NEWSFLASH: if you have ever said this phrase, then 1. you are a fucking dick and 2. you are part of the fucking problem within education.
Ritual insanity
There are so many challenges facing education (urghhh), but this one comes to fuck me over at the same time every year: the cultish ritual of marking mock exams. As teachers, we find ourselves trapped in a cycle of wasted hours, futile efforts, and little to no benefit for our students. It’s an absolute absurdity and honestly, this divine convergence gives me about as much sense of clarity as an angry agnostic at a scientology conference.
Guilt-Loaded Phrases in Education
The education system: quiet, peaceful, serene… that is until I wake up screaming ‘FUCK YOU’ as I tumble through the treetops (kudos if you know the reference) *and cue title music.
The system is actually a place where exploitation thrives like a North American pine forest, and teachers are guilt-tripped into sacrificing their sanity for the ‘greater good’—or rather, the greater exploitation. But honestly, the postal version of Burt Raccoon is exactly how it makes me feel. Behold the guilt-laden phrases that chime through school corridors, leaving teachers to Syril Sneer as they are torn between their duty and their own well-being. One such phrase, “but you’d already gone,” encapsulates the subtle manipulation used to guilt-trip teachers into giving up their precious time, unpaid, for the system’s demands. Fuck you – let’s call this shit out!
Blindness and/or Bullshit
Behind the curtain, school leadership apparently wields wizard-like power, but their decisions more often resemble a game of drunken pin the tail on the donkey—aiming for ass but hitting fuck knows what. From ignoring critical issues like misogyny, harassment and toxic behaviours to treating valuable expertise like unwanted leftovers, the fallout is ionising. Don your hazmat suit as we wade through the toxic swamp of leadership ignorance that’s contaminating schools.
Navigating the Passpocalypse
A seemingly benign practice has evolved into an issue that’s impacting education far more than perhaps we realise, and as a teacher, it is definitely grating on me. Here is a typical scenario: a student raises their hand, brandishing a brightly coloured, laminated pass like it’s a VIP ticket to meet Taylor Swift backstage, and proceeds to step out of class. Seems harmless, right? Wrong. It’s become a significant issue: the overabundance of time-out passes is threatening to derail learning and I can’t shake it off. But before I go absolutely postal, it’s crucial to acknowledge that I fully support the use of these passes for genuine reasons and to those kids, I’ve got your backs. However, I can’t help but feel that they’re sometimes distributed to students who may not need them as much as others.
Exposing Schools’ double standards: Economic vs social relationships
A stark dilemma haunts the corridors but it is not the foul stench of SLT polluting the corridor as they come to deliver a fresh set of laminated bullshit that “must be displayed in every classroom”. Instead, it’s a paradox where goodwill, vital for harmonious school-staff relations, is now treated as a commodity. This isn’t an abstract concept; it’s a predicament with real repercussions for teachers, students, and education in general.
How ‘smart dress’ is a red herring
In the classroom, innovation and student engagement should be paramount, but there is an alternate focus for some SLT because, let’s face it, they have fuck all better to do: the enforcement of “business dress” for teachers. While proponents argue that such attire fosters seriousness, it’s time to address the elephant in the room—this is a school, not a fucking bank from the 1920s. The impracticality of suits and ties in an educational setting is glaring, and the repercussions are profound.