Confronting Toxic Mindsets and the Dismissal Epidemic
It’s a dilemma that’s as insidious as it is ubiquitous, as destructive as it is dismissive. It’s a dilemma born from the lips of our own colleagues, echoing within each department and reverberating through the corridors of our schools with the unsettling frequency of the Silent Hill radio static. This dilemma, my friends, is the casual dismissal of complex issues through language rife with logical fallacies.
The Wizards Behind the Curtain
Beware of those pulling the strings in our schools – these multi-academy trust CEOs, seemingly elusive until they need something, embody a leadership vacuum that cripples morale and suppresses progress. But much like the Wizard of Oz presents himself as an awe-inspiring figure, CEOs similarly rely on trickery and deception to maintain authority. This serves as a useful guide for this gripe and a powerful metaphor for the importance of seeing through illusions and recognising the true nature of those in positions of power.
Why Schools Need to Drop the Formal Facade
The over-formalisation of schools has led to a disconnection between students and teachers, stifling genuine relationships and hindering active engagement, giving birth to an apathy epidemic. As students are confronted with the facade of conformity—teachers adorned in business attire, reciting scripted lines, each lesson following the same predictable script as the last—the essence of education becomes obscured by a fog of formality Yet, amidst this barrage of corporate bullshit and rigid systems, lies a yearning for authenticity. There is an imperative to reduce the formality reminiscent of 1920s business conventions and instead promote a more informal approach. This shift fosters genuine connections and restores the social contract between students and teachers.
Rediscovering the Power of Genuine Acknowledgement
Shrouded in unnecessary complexity yet so evident in its simplicity: praise. Is it an essential element of student motivation and morale? Perhaps, but frequently overshadowed by convoluted systems prioritising branding over genuine acknowledgement. As a result, layers of complexity obscure what should be a straightforward gesture of appreciation. [Note to SLT: if you need more than a couple of lines on a slide, or god forbid, a fucking flow chart to explain your latest shit idea, it’s probably too complicated!]
The Monotonous Rituals of the Post Holder with Too Many Jobs!
In the endless procession of educational routines, there is one in particular that makes both students and teachers wish for assisted death: School assemblies. Indeed, these obligatory gatherings are lacklustre rituals, overseen by disengaged presenters with the delivery skills of a stale digestive and who are about as inspirational as week-old, roadkill. To them, assemblies are merely a task to check off their list. But this isn’t a rant about the mundane; it’s a desperate plea for change because honestly, as Frasier Crane once said: “I’d rather watch a loved one autopsied”.
Breaking the Bullshit Cycle of Overwhelming Workloads
It’s the bullshit that every teacher faces: the overwhelming burden of marking papers, a thankless task that consumes time, energy, and sanity. However, the intolerable excess of this workload exacts a not-so-subtle toll on teachers’ well-being and most worryingly, is perpetuated by those tasked with leading by example.
Turning Water into Wine
At this time of year, teachers often find themselves in a modern-day parable akin to Jesus with his baguette and tin of Aldi sardines. Just as Jesus performed a miracle to feed the masses, teachers are expected to perform similarly, magically elevating students’ grades to meet the student’s target. Yet, behind this show of divine intervention lies the devil: the guilt-laden question that pursues teachers – “What can we do to get their grade up?” NEWSFLASH: if you have ever said this phrase, then 1. you are a fucking dick and 2. you are part of the fucking problem within education.
Ritual insanity
There are so many challenges facing education (urghhh), but this one comes to fuck me over at the same time every year: the cultish ritual of marking mock exams. As teachers, we find ourselves trapped in a cycle of wasted hours, futile efforts, and little to no benefit for our students. It’s an absolute absurdity and honestly, this divine convergence gives me about as much sense of clarity as an angry agnostic at a scientology conference.
Guilt-Loaded Phrases in Education
The education system: quiet, peaceful, serene… that is until I wake up screaming ‘FUCK YOU’ as I tumble through the treetops (kudos if you know the reference) *and cue title music.
The system is actually a place where exploitation thrives like a North American pine forest, and teachers are guilt-tripped into sacrificing their sanity for the ‘greater good’—or rather, the greater exploitation. But honestly, the postal version of Burt Raccoon is exactly how it makes me feel. Behold the guilt-laden phrases that chime through school corridors, leaving teachers to Syril Sneer as they are torn between their duty and their own well-being. One such phrase, “but you’d already gone,” encapsulates the subtle manipulation used to guilt-trip teachers into giving up their precious time, unpaid, for the system’s demands. Fuck you – let’s call this shit out!
Blindness and/or Bullshit
Behind the curtain, school leadership apparently wields wizard-like power, but their decisions more often resemble a game of drunken pin the tail on the donkey—aiming for ass but hitting fuck knows what. From ignoring critical issues like misogyny, harassment and toxic behaviours to treating valuable expertise like unwanted leftovers, the fallout is ionising. Don your hazmat suit as we wade through the toxic swamp of leadership ignorance that’s contaminating schools.