Engagement

Assembly Apathy

Posted on 28-03-202415-03-2024by admin

The Monotonous Rituals of the Post Holder with Too Many Jobs!

In the endless procession of educational routines, there is one in particular that makes both students and teachers wish for assisted death: School assemblies. Indeed, these obligatory gatherings are lacklustre rituals, overseen by disengaged presenters with the delivery skills of a stale digestive and who are about as inspirational as week-old, roadkill. To them, assemblies are merely a task to check off their list. But this isn’t a rant about the mundane; it’s a desperate plea for change because honestly, as Frasier Crane once said: “I’d rather watch a loved one autopsied”.

Behaviour Engagement Expectations Toxicity Well-Being Workload

The Grade Alchemist

Posted on 21-03-202414-03-2024by admin

Turning Water into Wine

At this time of year, teachers often find themselves in a modern-day parable akin to Jesus with his baguette and tin of Aldi sardines. Just as Jesus performed a miracle to feed the masses, teachers are expected to perform similarly, magically elevating students’ grades to meet the student’s target. Yet, behind this show of divine intervention lies the devil: the guilt-laden question that pursues teachers – “What can we do to get their grade up?” NEWSFLASH: if you have ever said this phrase, then 1. you are a fucking dick and 2. you are part of the fucking problem within education.

Assessment Engagement Policies Time Management Well-Being Workload

The Mock Mockery

Posted on 18-03-202418-03-2024by admin

Ritual insanity

There are so many challenges facing education (urghhh), but this one comes to fuck me over at the same time every year: the cultish ritual of marking mock exams. As teachers, we find ourselves trapped in a cycle of wasted hours, futile efforts, and little to no benefit for our students. It’s an absolute absurdity and honestly, this divine convergence gives me about as much sense of clarity as an angry agnostic at a scientology conference.

Communication Engagement Expectations Leadership Policies Workload

Branding vs. Substance

Posted on 29-02-202411-03-2024by admin

How Branding Eclipses Educational Integrity

The cry of ‘Just do it’ echoes from SLT as they fuel a frustrating trend, but are schools prioritising branding over substance? Schools, especially academies, are eager to establish a unique identity, often relying on shit slogans and bullshit-branded policies, and insisting on brand recognition. But news flash: brand recognition is earned, not imposed. And, beneath the surface lies a significant problem—a gap between branding efforts and the actual educational value they claim to offer.

Behaviour Communication Curiculum Engagement Leadership Motivation

Pen to Politeness

Posted on 15-02-202418-02-2024by admin

Basics in Decline

Step into a modern-day classroom and you might be forgiven for thinking you’ve wandered onto the set of a Kafkaesque sitcom: students, chauffeured to school like VIPs, lounging in their seats with an air of entitlement. But the laughter fades when you realise the punchline—their desks are barren, devoid of the most basic tools for learning. Pens? Pencils? F**k that! Welcome to the paradox of education in the 21st century, where chauffeur-driven arrivals collide with a distinct absence of independence and initiative. It’s a scene that’s both farcical and foreboding, underscoring a troubling trend in our schools.

Communication Engagement Innovation Leadership Motivation

Death by quote

Posted on 01-02-202403-02-2024by admin

Picture the scene: a dimly lit meeting room, the low hum of a projector, no air con, shit coffee from a polystyrene cup and the unmistakable stench of boredom lingering in the air. As the PowerPoint/Google slides blink into life, so do the cliché quotes that adorn each one, like shit on the underside of a public toilet seat. The scene is all too familiar in the world of education, where leadership seem to have a fondness for drowning their presentations in a sea of quotes. But are these verbal gems contributing to intellectual enlightenment, or are they merely veils of pseudo-intelligence? Spoiler alert…it’s the latter!